Northern Star: Legacy
by mfig
Summary: This the companion piece to Northern Star. That tiny human bit of him he had so unselfishly given up for her happiness. Time had nurtured it and fashioned it into the form she had always loved.


**Title: Legacy  
Rating: PG-14 (k+)****  
Disclaimer: Not mine, belong to the BBC  
Author's note: Second part of "Northern Star".  
Summary: All the events that led up to the ending of "Northern Star" from a very different point of view.The struggle of a being reborn.**

* * *

Sometimes the universe has a funny way of rewarding you, avenging a death before its time and bringing justice to a great cosmic error. One most rise from the ashes of the past since it cannot be rewritten. Instead we must learn from it and avoid being doomed to repeat it.

Although funny as it may be the universe does not like things to be easy, hardly. If you want it you must fight for it with all your being. A breath, a heart beat or a single word – all these require the will to do so, to rise and to rebuild yourself…not exactly into what you were, since you can never go back and undo the past, but you can build from it.

_You can't go back_ _but you can go forward_.

* * *

**_Breathing is the first step_**

_Breathe in. _

_Breathe out. _

This was his soul purpose at first, taking one more shuttering breath and living one more instant. Nothing existed before him and nothing lay ahead.

Jack watched over him obsessively, parting only for mere minutes and once more returning to his side. All this due to the fact that he had never expected to lay eyes upon the Doctor ever again.

He had survived the game station and had caught word of the Doctor's regeneration. Perhaps seeing him was a possibility, the Universe wasn't that big of a place but never in this body…this was never meant to of have happened.

He knew it and so did the Doctor, that's why Jack thanked whatever power that be for putting him in his path. Far too weak to survive on his own, this small miracle would of have never been given the chance to reach its full potential. If he was here then it was for a reason.

That would come later but for now he would hold him and murmur the only thing that mattered, the only words that were the gift of life at the moment:

_Breathe in. _

_Breathe out.

* * *

_

_**Patience is a virtue, even if you don't possess it**_

Months had passed and he was slowly bouncing back to life. It hadn't been easy, it couldn't be …not for him since he never seemed to appreciate whatever came with great ease.

After careful observation Jack concluded that it was like being reborn.

The Doctor, perhaps the most wickedly smart man in this entire universe, reduced to a quivering mass of nerves. He could barely recall his name or anything that had happened before his regeneration but Jack could see it all in his metallic blue eyes.

A storm brew in that gaze, just waiting to finally break free and flood him with 900 years worth of laughter, anguish, tears, pain, frustration, knowledge, love and all the emotions that seemed always at bay underneath that cool leather clad exterior.

He had to be patient and wait for it to come to him, not the other way around. Time no longer mattered; as long it took he would stand by his friend's side. He had to; he owed it to him and to his Rose...their Rose.

Her name alone cause a great revolution within him, his heart and mind at war on whether or not to let her know that he lived once more. In the end he had chosen not to, he couldn't rush things since the time for everything would finally come naturally.

Yes, patience, it was the key to finally unlocking the mystery that hovered around them.

It was inevitable…soon the storm would come.

* * *

_**Like the beat, beat, beat of the tom-tom**_

The Doctor slowly walked around the space ship, although it wasn't as impressive as the first one Jack had owned it was much larger and more comfortable for the two to move around.

With each passing day he could feel himself growing stronger and feeling surer of himself, the nerves were beginning to fade away and he no longer jumped at any little noise. But perhaps the biggest progress of all was the small chunks of his memory that were coming back to him.

It wasn't like he had forgotten everything…he hadn't, couldn't since it was too much for one person to ever have lived. Although that would all be different now, no longer was he the Doctor, instead he was just…Christopher.

The named flourished in his mind and bit of the weight on his heart began to lighten. It had been a complete shock at first, feeling one heart thumping in his chest. He wasn't Gallifreyan anymore, for some reason beyond him he had been brought back to existence as a human, a race that had always been closed to his two hearts – one heart now.

Sometimes he wondered what that meant, having one heart. Would he love any less than before, would his capacity to do so be diminished somehow? Frowning to himself he realized that it was a stupid thought. Of course he would still love the same, being human wasn't much different from being Gallifreyan, sure a few biological difference and the rather quick life span. But besides that, it was all the same.

He wasn't a time lord anymore; the weight of time and space didn't rest on his shoulders and now there were so many other possibilities open to him. He just wished that he knew where to go, what would be next.

Closing his eyes the Doctor concentrated on the one constant heart beat, like the thumping of a drum. Deep within him he could feel the same old beat that had withstood the test of time and various different incarnations.

Thump.

_Think Christopher_

Thump

_Live Christopher_

Thump

_Love Christopher, love with all you have and all you are.

* * *

_

_**The big bad wolf awaits you **_

_Rose. _

The name hit him like a punch in the stomach, immediately his insides turned into an iron fist as every single memory of her began to flood his senses.

_I'm The Doctor, by the way. What's your name?_

_Rose._

_Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!_

Yes, Rose, oh his wonderful darling Rose. How could he of ever have forgotten her? His lovely, brave, caring, young Rose. Now it was all coming back to him, every single moment by her side.

Tears began to fall down his face as he fell onto his knees, his gaze fixed intently at what lay ahead of him, but in fact he wasn't even there. He was somewhere else, lost in his own past, so tightly imbedded in the web of laughs, tears, hugs, kisses, shouts, fears that was his love for Rose Tyler.

_Are you alien?_

_Yes_

_That all right?_

_Yeah_

From the very first instant she had trust him and he had yearn for her, for those big brown eyes and cheeky smile. She would never know how important her presence in his life, at that particular moment, had been. Her youthful exuberance had been the remedy to the slow decline of his weary soul since the time war.

The light she had brought to his life had brighten his spirit and he had so eagerly bathe in it…taking her in and in the process loving her with all the might in his two hearts. Enough to die for her without even thinking it twice, she had to live for them both.

_And if you wanna remember me, you can do one thing. That's all, one thing. Have a good life. Do that for me Rose. Have a fantastic life.

* * *

_

_**You're a shinning star **_

Christopher stepped out into the dark London night. Looking back behind him he saw Jack standing by the entry ramp of the space ship. A small smile played on his handsome face as he nodded a silent communication between them.

Closing his eyes he focused on all the things he had learned since his rebirth. It had only been a year since the powers that be had given his the gift of life once more but to him it had felt like it had only been an instant ago.

He had to let go of the past and live the present for the future. That had perhaps been the hardest part of all, even to a seasoned former time lord like himself. No longer was the past, present and future the same blurred mess. There were limits and he had to respect them and no longer bend them to his will.

So he would live for now and the future and the past was just what it was…the past, dead, gone but perhaps not forgotten…never forgotten since it made up who he was, who he would always be but one thing was missing.

The fire within him no longer burn and only one person could ignite that passion and truly bring him back to life.

Standing in a dark corner he watched as she hugged the Doctor…an odd concept to grasp but he was getting use to it. That was the Doctor, he was just Christopher, the realization always brought about a great sigh of relief and he never felt lighter than ever.

The Doctor began to make his way back to the Tardis but before he left he murmured something at Rose and was gone in an instant.

There she stood all alone, starring up into the sky and then gathering her things once more. He felt like his feet were made off led and his throat was unbelievably dry.

_Damn human jitters_, he thought to himself but seeing her begin to walk away pushed him to act. Without realizing it he called out her name…his voice horse from the cheer emotion of it all.

_Breathe! _

_Think!_

_Live! _

_Love!_

The words ran through his head in a frenzied storm, his feet began to move hurriedly until he was right behind her. He could feel his heart thumping wildly and briefly wondered if it could handle all he was feeling.

Turning her to face him he immediately captured her lips into the sweetest kiss he had ever experience in his life. Her warmth was all consuming as it covered him like a blanket, his hands relishing the feel of her body…every single glorious inch of her, once more in his arms.

He was finally home.

* * *

_**My legacy**_

The Doctor moved about the outside of the estate as he ran after the creature that was about to break through the open window. Tugging at his tie and cursing the warm tropical weather he flung himself and grabbed the assailant by the knees. Knocking him to the ground he produced a wooden steak and stabbed him right in the heart.

Getting up immediately he watched with great curiosity as the body dematerialized. It was after all the first time he ever killed a vampire, wiping the grass of his trousers he looked around making sure that no one had witnessed the scene. He had never been in Cuba during the 1950s and he was rather interested in popping in to see the highly awaited poet recite one of his poems.

Casually strolling into the large room, all that could be heard was the think Chilean accent and the soft spinning of the fans above them. The crowd was an endless sea of happy colors and white panama hats. Having discarded his usual attire for the typical white "guayabera" or what he found to be a very thin white shirt he felt much more at ease with the heat and sat down towards the back, another face in the crowd…he hadn't felt this at peace in a long time.

The Doctor eyes closed as he concentrated on each word, internally translating from Spanish to English the poet's words.

_**Tonight I can write the saddest lines.**_

_**Write, for example, 'The night is starry**_

_**and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'**_

_**The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.**_

_**Tonight I can write the saddest lines.**_

_**I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.**_

_**Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.**_

_**I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.**_

_**She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.**_

_**How could one not have loved her great still eyes.**_

_**Tonight I can write the saddest lines.**_

_**To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.**_

_**To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.**_

_**And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.**_

_**What does it matter that my love could not keep her.**_

_**The night is starry and she is not with me.**_

_**This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.**_

_**My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.**_

_**My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.**_

_**My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.**_

_**The same night whitening the same trees.**_

_**We, of that time, are no longer the same.**_

_**I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.**_

_**My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.**_

_**Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.**_

_**Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.**_

_**I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.**_

_**Love is so short, forgetting is so long.**_

_**Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms**_

_**my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.**_

Tears began to fall down his cheeks as he finally allowed himself to silently cry for what had been, what could have been and what was now. Forcing himself to calm down he caught the poet's last verse…so true as they touched his very soul.

_**Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer**_

Yes, no more, he would mourn her lost no more. In a way he would always be with her, that tiny human bit of him he had so unselfishly given up for her happiness. Time had nurtured it and fashioned it into the form she had always love and in the end, love had been his final legacy to Rose Tyler.

_**and these the last verses that I write for her.**_

_Breathe!_

_Think!_

_Live!_

_Love!_

**FIN**


End file.
